I’m Sorry

This is a collaborative filk that I wrote together with my friend Cedar the Barefoot back in 2017. (I provided the idea and the opening verse and refrain, they did most of the rest, since Norse lore is their jam, and we cross-pollinated a little on the edit.) They have performed it a few times, and I helped out with their 2018 Pennsic concert as one of the angry Vikings confronting Loki. I haven’t yet performed it myself, but below is the (slightly tweaked) set of lyrics I plan to bring to a bardic circle at some point.

I’m Sorry by Cedar the Barefoot and Drake Oranwood
(to the tune of “You’re Welcome” from Disney’s Moana)

Okay, okay,
I see what’s happening here
You’ve grabbed yourself a legend, so to speak
And I understand how you feel: “He’s deplorable!”
Well, I’m glad that Vikings turn the other cheek

Loosen those fists, those stares of death
I confess, it’s me, it’s Loki—take a breath!
I know you’re excited everyone,
But you’re clutching one of Odin’s sons!

What can I say except, “I’m sorry!”
For the lives that I have marred
Hey it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m sorry!
I guess I’m just a pain in the As-gard!

Hey! Who has a silver tongue made to lie
And causes things to go awry? This guy!
With a giant bold, who sired the goddess down below?
You’re looking at him, yo!

Oh, also I cut off Sif’s long hair, I’m sorry!
But I was bored and drunk, I swear!
Also I angered some dwarves, I’m sorry!
There’s still that hammer they made Thor!

So, what can I say except, I’m sorry! (Not sorry!)
For the time I dressed Thor like a bride
Like the sister of Frey, okay, I’m sorry!
(Not sorry!)
I laughed so hard, I swear I nearly died!
I’m sorry!
(Not sorry!)
I’m sorry! (Not sorry!)
So, really, if I may…

Folks, honestly, I can go on and on
I can explain every awful phenomenon!
The snake, the horse, the hound?
Oh, that was Loki just messin’ around!

Idun was kidnapped, my fault I suppose
I have no guilt, it’s the path that I chose
What’s the lesson? What do the people say?
Loki’s so tricky, you really should keep away!

And the snake venom here on my face!
Is a mark of my greatest disgrace!
Look what I’ve done, I made Ragnarok happen!
Look at the screaming and running–I’m too busy laughin’!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hey!

Well, anyway, let me say I’m sorry! (Not sorry!)
For the horrible world you know
Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m sorry!
(Not sorry!)
So really, if it’s cool, I gotta go!

Guess I’m gonna pay and say I’m sorry! (Not sorry!)
Whatcha doin’ with that rope?
I can’t get away, away, I’m sorry!
(Not sorry!)
These aren’t Narfi’s guts I really hope!
(Not sorry!)
I’m sorry!
(Not sorry!)
I’m sorry! (Not sorry!)