Looking back (one day more…)

At midnight, it will be release day for Hold the Door Open. Eight years of preparation and creation will be over, and an audience of whatever size will be free to experience the results.

I really hope they like it. If they do, I hope they’ll share it with others. I put a lot of energy into learning how to do everything in my power to make this album rich, thematically powerful, and acoustically pleasing. I engaged an incredible crew of talent to co-create this with me.

And I went the last mile and mastered the thing myself. I tore my hair out a lot over that decision, but in the end, I decided I wanted to have complete control over the sound of it. I put in more time and research than I’ve ever done before, to learn what was needed to do this properly. I ran the results by people I trust, took in their feedback, and made adjustments where possible…until the point where it was time to put my hands up and step back and say this was finished.

It is not perfect. I do not have the skills or experience for perfect. And I judge that it is good. No. It is excellent. I don’t believe in my heart that I will hear (the way I did a few times for Hidden Gold) that “it sounds really great for someone who didn’t know what they were doing.”

For the mix and master, my goal was that it should sound close to professional. That each song would have clarity. No mud in the mix. No tracks buried in the mix because I couldn’t figure out how to make them sound the way they should without overwhelming other parts. (This was my bane with percussion on previous efforts.) I figured out how to use EQ, compression, reverb, panning, and a few valuable plugins to get this mix balanced. You should be able to hear the contributions of everyone involved. And it should blend into a harmonious whole on each track.

Chris Mortika, who was one of the later contributors, at one point told me, “Never apologize for being picky about your vision.” That was profoundly helpful advice, and it’s a nugget that will stay with me past this project.

I had a vision for this album. The choices of instrumentation for every track were mine. The arrangements were mine, either by discussing what I wanted in detail, or in many cases by composing specific lines and transcribing them for the musicians. For a lot of ideas, I was not sure, late into the process, if they would happen. But I persisted, and found a way to realize them. Probably 95% of my vision made its way into the finished product. Some examples:

• I wanted glockenspiel for “silver bells hung from her horse’s mane” in “I Must Be Silent”, and a hammered dulcimer for the instrumental break in “Shine, Child”. Thanks to Chris, both those things are there.
• I wanted representative voice casting for the title track. That proved challenging, but we got there.
• I committed to reworking the harmonies for “I asked of thee a boon” so that they were more period appropriate, less distracting for the listener, and easier for the vocalists and learn and sing. I honed it, with some assistance (thank you, Peregrine and Silence), and the final version sounds worlds better than the original.
• I wanted to celebrate collaboration and community on this album. I had a vision of a front cover that would combine as many of the key performers as I could manage into a “group shot”. Since that was impractical as a photo, I wanted to work with an artist to paint it. While staying within the non-existent donation-project budget for this project. Ultimately, Arden delivered—and did he ever.
• Since we couldn’t fit all the performers on the front, I wanted everyone featured on the back cover. It really wasn’t practical to commission a second painting. In the end, I chose to serve as the primary layout designer, and found an idea that worked. Couldn’t have done it without Silence, though.

I must acknowledge the debt of gratitude to the talented friends who helped me with many of these tasks on previous recordings, and whose efforts gave me a foundation to build on. Dave Lambert’s introduction to home studio recording, Arden’s detailed sense for arranging a song to give it movement and variety, Neil Fein’s mastering skills and knowledge, Aneleda Falconbridge’s fantastic cover designs.

Also, while I may have done the arranging overall, I’d have been lost without Arden’s willingness to pour out track after track of percussion for the entire album in one day. (Ultimately, I brought in some of his passages from Hidden Gold to broaden the texture, which is legit since those recordings belong to me. I’m not going to tell you what got added where, but you’re welcome to scan for it if you need a rabbit hole to fall down.)

In the coming days, I’ll talk more about what the songs mean to me, and spotlight these performers in more detail.

For right now, I’ll just say: I did it. I did all of it. And I’m proud of it.

Hands up. Step away from the table. It’s time to serve the meal.