“My Thirst” was written at Pennsic 40, during the summer of 2011. I was pondering a very different song, which I still haven’t written, when my wife asked me to take a sniff of the St. Germain that was being passed around. It occurred to me that I didn’t have any “funny” songs yet in my repertoire, and what could be better than a drinking song? (Ironically I don’t drink, but I have enough life experience that the song’s comedy comes from a kernel of truth.)
My Thirst
© 2011 words & music by Eric Schrager
Beg pardon, sir, but is an ox-cart resting on my head?
The dirt beneath my cheek tells me I never found the bed.
It’s not a pretty thing greets me on opening my eyes,
I liked the taste when it went down, but now it’s drawing flies.
Though last night I was bottomless, it feels now like I’ve burst!
They all talk of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
One morning I awoke, and though I couldn’t kneel or stand,
An old man’s crossbow let me know my wedding was at hand.
I’d lain down with a comely lass much sweeter than a grape,
But I’d mistook for flavor what turned out to be her shape.
I’m not the last to drink I loved her, and I warn’t the first!
She tells them of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
Last week I saw a man whose visage brought to mind a louse,
Much like the lord upon whose land I rent my leaky house!
“My friend”, I cried, “I’d like a word,“ and in his face I spit.
“I don’t care that there’s three of you, the middle I can hit!”
I’ve lost my home, I’ve lost two teeth, it seems that I’m accurst!
Now he talks of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
When will I learn, they ask? How often must I do me harm?
“It must be fifty times—but still, a fifth might be the charm!”
So then they ask what ails me, and have I lost my mind?
I say, “An ale is just the thing, if you would be so kind!”
Of all the sots they’ve ever met, they swear that I’m the worst!
They all talk of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
Whene’er a trickle I do hear, my lips are ready-pursed!
They all talk of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
When I was born, they argue on what sort of milk I nursed!
They all talk of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
If you’ve a cask or vat, beware! You might find me immersed!
Then you’ll talk of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
They all talk of my drinking, but never of my thirst!
Drake Oranwood 